We sit idly watching ‘Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter’ and the question that is on our minds is – were there stills photographs in 1812? We don’t marvel at the ludicrous plot or critique the fact that Abe was apparently involved in a war with vampires during the Battle of Gettysburg but we worry about whether they have got a technical detail right. I have to get on the internet to confirm but there are conflicting views so we are left unsatisfied. Meanwhile, Abraham Lincoln goes about his business, chopping vampires up with a silver axe and abolishing slavery, all with one deft movement. We feel the actor in the role of Lincoln actually looks quite a lot like the original one but then I venture that perhaps all men look like Abraham Lincoln if they grew a beard like his. Mark is less than inclined to grow one to test my hypothesis and I am barely able to grow hair on my head, let alone on my face so again, I must be denied satisfaction.

Another vexing question is that while hair is slowly growing back on my head, it is growing at a rate of knots on my legs and I wonder how this can be? There are all sorts of complicated reasons why hair removal has to be a challenging business post chemotherapy and lymph node removal. I can’t remember what they are and, worse still, I can’t remember the approved method of hair removal.

I have planned for my weekend, though. It will go like this. Saturday morning: get up around 9am, shower and dress. Go downstairs and grab yoghurt breakfast on the way out to the garden. The temperature will be a pleasant 70 degrees and it will be dry. I will plant all the plants waiting to be permanent in the garden and remove Freya’s alfresco offerings. Sliding through the house at lunchtime, I will sweep all the floors downstairs before throwing a load of washing in the machine. I will then hem the new curtains for the shower and take down the bedroom curtains before I clean the windows in the bedroom and sitting room. I will hang the lace curtains back damp because that’s what they like and then I’ll change the sheets before sitting down to a well-earned spell at the laptop when I will write some new pages for Annabel’s Angels before treating myself to a game of Candy Crush.

Oh the joy of delusion! Fibro and post-treatment will see what I really get up to tomorrow but call back and see how I got on. Any day now I’m going to post the Maggie’s choir video, I promise.