I have been mulling a blog post over for the last couple of days, talking about my life, my weekend, my kids. Until today. I read a friend’s blog post which has rocked me to my core. Her son who has autism died today in the mental health unit he was staying in. He was a young man, just 18 and getting his life sorted. I never met him but I know and like his mum very much and I feel physical shock so I can only imagine how the family must feel. It’s not my grief but I feel it like a punch to the solar plexus. God only knows how they’ll get through the next few days/weeks/months but all I can do is send them love and feel slightly guilty that my family is still intact.
Tangling with cancer 
It’s hard to get news like this, particularly when you are starting to get on more of an even keel. You mustn’t feel guilty though on any level, I’m sure your friend wouldn’t want that, just be there for her if she needs you.
Thank you so much for your kind words. The death of a child is an incredibly difficult thing to comprehend so perhaps I should re-word it to say I feel even more grateful for the children I have and the relationships I have with them.
I understand that “survivor’s guilt,” but no one deserves these terrible losses. I am sad to hear about your friend’s loss. We shouldn’t feel guilty when things work out or guilty when they do not. It must be awful to lose a child, regardless of the reason. I have not had the privilege of caring for a child in my life, but I am certain that this child’s mental health challenges must have brought out every fiber of your friend’s nurturing instincts. I’ll bet she feels lucky to have someone like you as a friend to offer support at this time. You express great capacity for feeling and understanding in your posts.