Lark’s Diary V

This week has been SO hot, the hottest ever anywhere in the world, I think. I have had to drink lots more water than usual and Mum keeps a big bowl in the garden for me and Archie. Last week she bought a hat to keep her cool and now she has bought one for me and one for Archie. Mine is a bit too small but Archie’s fits and he gets lots of comments.

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Anyway, it’s all turned out for the best because while Mum is waiting for my new hat to arrive, she has got me and Archie neckerchiefs and we have decided to form a club called the Pigeon Catchers Club and Archie and I are the only members. Every time a pigeon lands in the garden or flies over it quite low, we have to run like anything to see if we can get it. I’m not sure about what we’ll do next but then we haven’t caught one yet. It’s a good excuse to bark, too, which I quite like doing. If other people need pigeons catching, we could go into their gardens and help them if they give us some Bonio. We look very smart, anyway, and Mum says they will keep us cool so I haven’t even tried to take mine off yet.

I did a poo in the kitchen this morning. I didn’t even mean to, it just sort of slipped out and before I knew it, it was on the floor. When Mum found it she was cross with me. I still don’t know how to tell her I need to go to the toilet and I’ve watched what Archie does but I can’t work it out. I wish he would just explain because he always goes outside and never makes a mess inside. I don’t know what she’ll say when she finds out I’ve been weeing on one of the beds upstairs. Sigh.

The other night, while we were sleeping, there was some terrific noise outside and lots of lights flashed. Freya doesn’t like loud noises so she came onto the bed, too, which was nice as I like to sniff her. I watched it for a little while but then it got boring so I just went back to sleep. Apparently it was the weather doing A Storm which doesn’t happen often. And then another night the sheep outside were making a lot of noise in the middle of the night and Archie started barking because he could hear cats crying so Mark went downstairs and made sure the cats were inside. He thought it was a fox upsetting the sheep and Mum thinks a fox here might eat a cat, not like the foxes they have in towns. Archie says the foxes in towns are lazy and just go through people’s bins to get food and also enjoy a game called ‘Annoy the dog’ which means they all sit in front of your window and just stare at you. Archie says once he got so cross he broke the window trying to give the foxes a piece of his mind. Archie is a really tough dog and I’m glad he’s my brother, even though he does put my head in his mouth quite often.

I was a bit upset with Mum the other night. She met a man when we were out walking who was admiring me and asking who my breeder was and then he said “Her nails need clipping” which annoyed Mum because she already knew that and had the clippers at home. She had showed them to me before and I didn’t really like the look of them. In the evening, she asked Mark to hold onto me while she clipped my nails and I hated it. I squirmed and squeaked and did everything to tell her she didn’t need to do it but she carried on because she said half a manicure would look silly. I sulked after that, even though she gave me a Bonio and I got in my crate and didn’t speak to her. I know she only does good things for us but I can’t see the point of this.

Then I felt sorry for Mum when she fell over in the Castle. There were some old people there with funny clothes on and little fires and then a man shouted “Do you want to know the history of the Castle?” I thought “not really” but he carried on anyway for ages and then people clapped a bit and we walked around. There wasn’t even any free dog food to try. We saw another dog and wanted to say hello so ran ahead but Mum was walking Archie and he’s big and even stronger than me and she fell over and everyone went “Ooooh” and tried to pull her up. I tried to help but apparently I got in the way and then after that we went home and Mum went to sleep so I did, too.

Today we have visitors coming from a place called Norway which is a long, long way away. There are 2 grown ups and 2 children. I don’t know very much about children but all the ones I have met so far have been very nice so I hope these will be too. I have been told not to jump up at them as they are very little and I might knock them over but I hope they will play in the garden with me and we can run around and bark and chase toys. I am good at getting under bushes so we could make a den and have our lunch in it. I am quite excited. Now I am going to follow Mum around the house as she tries to find her slipper. I’ve hidden it in a really good place this time so I’ll see how long it takes her to find it.

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