Lark’s Diary IX

According to my mum, I have 2 speeds – slow and steady and hurtle! I must admit that hurtle is my favourite as it allows me to run around the garden like a mad thing although she doesn’t like it when I do it on the stairs, especially when I’m behind her. The other day, Mum was up late because she wasn’t feeling very well so I took 2 cans of San Pellegrino, which I know she likes, and left them on the stairs in case she needed a drink on the way down. After thinking about it, I realise I could have killed her and feel a little ashamed although it won’t last long. And you never know, she might have been thirsty.

We have been to the woods this week which I really like. Archie and I run around sniffing and chasing each other. I surprised him by running underneath him when he was having a wee and he nearly fell over because he always wees standing with one leg up which is a bit weird but I didn’t even get wet.  There is a ditch at one side of the path and it was full of water and Mum just shouted “Don’t go in the ditch!” when suddenly I was! And it was full of yucky stinky water which Mum doesn’t like but I secretly do as the smell lasts for ages. Anyway, Archie was chasing me so I couldn’t stop and we both went through the water about 23 times, which is quite a lot. And then I was out of breath so we went for lunch and Mum gave me some of her meat and Mark gave me a chip. Even then we didn’t go home but went to the farm shop where there are lots of dogs (but no tigers – they are scary) and they always bark at us but I was tired so I didn’t answer back. Then we went into town and Archie and I sat in the car while Mum and Mark went into the Co-op which is not a food shop but Mum says it sells everything and would send someone with OCD demented. Even though it sells everything, it didn’t sell the thing Mum wanted so she’s not really right. We still didn’t go home but went to another shop and Mark came out carrying the strangest thing. It’s big and shiny and all coiled up and apparently it’s called a euphonium which is a very long word and a musical instrument, too. I thought Mark was going to play it but instead, he switched it on and it has a light in it! It’s very strange but I quite like it although I have to be careful not to knock it over. Then we went home.

While Mum was resting today, I was looking around the bedroom to see if there was anything I could play with in the bin or if anything needed rearranging when I heard a funny noise. I’ve heard it before and it goes bzzzzzzzzz. Then I saw a black and yellow thing crawling on the floor so I went to investigate. It was quite small but also quite noisy so I thought I’d just rub my head on it to see what it feels like. I quite like rubbing my head on things and that sometimes turns into me rolling on things, especially if it’s smelly. I usually get told off for that, especially when I rolled in poo when I had my new Union Jack bandana on. Mum said the Queen would be cross, whoever she is. Anyway, I rubbed the buzzy thing once and I was just about to do it again because it didn’t smell very much when Mum shouted “Leave it!” When I say she shouts, I just mean her voice gets a teeny bit louder as she has something wrong with her throat. She got up and put the buzzy thing on a card and then she threw it out of the window! I was shocked and I hope it didn’t hurt itself as it’s a long way to fall.

Finally, I have a new thing to help remind me to go to the toilet outside. It’s a long leather strap that fits over the backdoor handle and it has big bells on it. When Mum takes me out for a wee she rings the bells first and then, if I do a wee, I get a pig’s ear as a reward. Oh, I do love pigs ears! This thing is called ‘Poochiebells’, can you believe it? I’m supposed to start ringing the bell for myself soon so Mum knows when I want to go out. Hmmm. We’ll see! Meanwhile, here is  a picture of me in my new jumper! It’s so cosy I don’t want to take it off.

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3 thoughts on “Lark’s Diary IX

  1. Dear Lark, thank you for your reply, I promise not to tell anyone about the craneflies although I can’t imagine what they are like. I’ll look forward to hearing more about you and Archie and I will tell little Archie what you have been up to, well some of it I don’t want to give him ideas. Love from Mrs Mo xx

  2. Dear Lark, I just wanted to say that I do enjoy reading your diary. You and Archie lead such exciting lives, I’m sure Archie has told you that it is much better than when he lived in London. I am sad to hear your mum is not feeling so well, will you tell her that Jon and Mo send their love and hope she feels better soon. I told my Little friend Archie’s (a sprocker spaniel) dad Rob how much you love pigs ears and now he gets them too. Archie loves pigs ears as well but he looks so funny with them in his mouth, I’m not so keen on them when they have been chewed. Also, Archie is having the same problem as you in the nether region. He thinks he has cracked the poo thingie but the widdle thingie seems much harder, especially when he is excited. He must have been so excited to see me that, well I’m not sure I have recovered yet, boy’s widdles go everywhere. Well Lark, keep up the good work amusing everyone. Look after your Mum and Mark and give Archie a head but from me. Lots of love, Moxx

    Date: Mon, 21 Sep 2015 19:06:08 +0000 To: mo_bowman@hotmail.co.uk

    • Dear Mrs Mo, I didn’t know there was another Archie Dog in the world. How confusing. I am glad you like hearing about what I do all day and in the night. We have funny things call Craneflies that jump on my mum at night. She throws them out of the window, too, but please don’t tell anyone in case she gets into trouble. I will think about you while I am chewing my pigs ears. Love from Lark xxx

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