Today Mum had to get up really early which she is not good at doing. Mark was going to a big place called London to do something called work. It’s very confusing having a Dad called Mark. If Mum shouts ” Lark, don’t do that!”, Mark always answers “What?” and then she says “I wasn’t talking to you, I was talking to the dog” and he says “Well, it sounded like you were talking to me”. We had People Coming which meant we had to be up and ready early. Today for my breakfast I had fish biscuits with proper tuna and a bowl of goat’s milk which is yummy. Mum gave Archie more than me but Archie wanted to eat my breakfast so I let him and I ate his. And they were puppy biscuits so he looks a bit silly.

A lady from Sheffield came to talk to Mum about her blog which apparently she liked a lot although they kept crying so I don’t know what all that was about. Then the gardener arrived which meant we had to bark like anything and my Mum said “stop it!” and the gardener said “Let them, it’s what they’re supposed to do!” Then he mowed the lawn which I didn’t like and then he sprayed some weeds. Mum asked if it was safe for animals and he said it was supposed to be so I tried some just in case and it tasted yucky. Then the woman from Sheffield had to go after she and Mum cried a bit more. Mum gave the gardener some water and I did a big wee in the kitchen which made Mum say “Lark!” but the gardener said it was because I had been in kennels and he cleaned the floor for Mum.

After lunch we went in the garden and Mum threw toys for us. I like my bunny best but also like monkey because he makes a lot of noise. One monkey doesn’t make any noise at all and that’s Archie’s favourite because I think he’s a bit scared of the other monkey. He tried to play bitey face with me and got my whole head in his mouth but I don’t like that very much so went and sat with my Mum. She started to read a book so me and Archie did some barking, pretending there was a fierce dog the other side of the hedge. Mum told me I was a bad influence, gave up reading and went to put some washing in the machine. I like helping her by carrying socks around the house although she seems obsessed with having 2 socks of the same colour all the time and I can’t remember what I’ve put where. Archie was not allowed in the house for a little while because Mum said he had Spanish bottom because he’d eaten too much grass. I don’t get it.

Later on we’re going to chase around the garden, taking back out toys Mum has just put indoors, then we’ll have supper and bed time. I like bed time because it means I can get right under the duvet and then after a little while Mum says “What’s that noise?” and I pop my head out from under the covers because I can hardly breathe and she says “You’re an idiot” and we go to sleep.