Unsuitable bottoms

Today is a day for unsuitable bottoms; the kind of clothing you would only wear in the privacy of your own home but not be seen dead in outside. For me, it’s the inevitable tracksuit bottoms as they are comfortable and have a strangely reassuring feel. They mean that, despite their sporty origins, I will not have to stray far from the sofa today which is good, because that’s exactly how I feel.

Yesterday was a good day and I managed to walk 4km without keeling over. With Race For Life looming, I am trying to walk further and further although I know I won’t reach the 10km until the actual day. But today I feel quiet and a little withdrawn so I’m on the sofa wearing unsuitable bottoms and watching a feel-good film about a jockey who has a terrible accident. Or at least, that’s as far as the story has got but I’m sure he must recover or that there will be a life-affirming ending. In the film, someone states that horse riding is the most dangerous sport in the world. I wondered if this was right so I checked online. The list I saw shows cave diving as the most dangerous sport with horse riding coming in at number 9, just ahead of heli skiing. But the thing that surprised me the most was that cheerleading comes in at number 2. Apparently throwing those girls around and waving pom poms is more dangerous than riding a bull or base jumping. Good job I’m staying on the sofa, then.

Something else that ocurred to me the other day was that cats wouldn’t get trodden on so often if they weren’t so competitive and didn’t try to stay in front all the time. Bunty spends a lot of her day trying to predict where I might be going so she can get there ahead of me, as though there is some competition between us. I once saw a film where a man had a cat who would sit on the corner of the road to meet him from work every day. The cat always liked to walk ahead so the man tried walking faster to get ahead. The cat just walked faster and even when the man began running, the cat still wanted to be ahead and ran faster. He had made a film of this contest between man and cat. Cats, of course, are still winning.